Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
