i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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