He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
