You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
