I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
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but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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