Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
