Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
