haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize