I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
