just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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