Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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