Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
