How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You took a bar mat shot.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
