i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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