Are we in a gay sports bar?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
