Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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