This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We have started to decorate penises.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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