therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
