I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
