People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
