My nipple is on Facebook.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
