so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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