ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
