So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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