How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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