just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
