i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
