maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
