mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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