Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
