are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
