He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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