What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
