She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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