I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
