Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
