He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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