His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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