Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize