What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
