I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
