We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
