If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
