i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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