it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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