Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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