So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize