I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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