Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize