He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.