i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.