Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
