My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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