speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
