too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
