In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
