i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
