lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
