Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
