i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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