True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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