He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
