you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just threw up on my dentist
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
