Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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